So, I suck. I haven't been controlling myself. I've been drinking soda and eating junk. Yeah Jamie just think positively! That'll do it! FUCK! Then at the end of the day I just sit here by myself and hate myself for it. It's this sick circle! Do I need the self abuse, is it some kind of sick pleasure that I can't wrap my brain around? I mean seriously!

So here's my next attempt and doing something that doesn't make me fatter...

There's a Curve's not too far from my house and a huge sign that says NO SERVICE CHARGE! So, I'm going to look it up and see what's up. I wish there was a Gold's near me. They have an awesome deal going on I can't believe it...too bad they suck and are so far away.

On a happy note my sister actually called me today! Allen was under some impression that she calls me everyday...this is the second time she's called since she's been in California...so I don't know who he gets his information from....anyway it was nice. I miss her :( She'll be here for Ian's first Birthday...and a belated 21st Birthday for Emily...so that's going to be a great week for me! It will be my first time ACTUALLY drinking since Kaylee's 21st....it'll be great! I've never been drunk WITH Em before! We're gonna be smashed! Then I'll drink again in another few years lol

Ok off to research!